why were you speeding?

[pepsi]

Going to Canada for some French Fries and Gravy sir...

I'm pretty sure if i was a cop, i'd let people off for pretty much any crime if they dropped a decent supertroopers reference

[myliberty]

forgot this one:

"why were you speeding?"
me "because I was in a hurry"
"show me your license"
...
"y'all aren't from around here are ya?"
me "nope, other side of the planet."
"well the posted limit here is 55, not 85!"
"take it easy y'all"
me "thanks officer, by the way, those are some cool sunnies"
"yeah, we like them"

Back highway in central California - doing 30mph over in a rental car. Officer had the coolest standard issue oakley "law enforcement" sunnies ever. Like M Frames, with US flag on side and police insignia.

[Norminator]

Poutine is pretty good...

[Shifty]

Not all cops are pricks.

Missed italics?

[Norminator]

... But cops are generally fuckwits. They scrape the bottom of the barrel at recruitment, and it just gets worse from there.

[cracka]

Not quite. They didn't get you

[Norminator]

Because I didn't apply? And it takes a genuine ball tickling cum guzzler to stay in.

[methodmania]

I got pulled over for doing about 130 in a 110 zone. Copper asked why I was in a hurry, I told him I was running late for a funeral (was the truth). He told me to slow down or the next funeral would be my own. No ticket, happy with that.

And did you survive?

[Benonymous]

I make it a rule when I get pulled over, get out of the car, meet copper at his car and if I’m on a bike, helmet off before being asked. It helps set the attitude mode off the bat.

Got my first ticket on my Kwakka GPz550. I had been riding it for over a month on my P’s illegally. I had a favourite corner on the way home from work that I used to take at 80 in a 60 zone. Mobile radar got me the day I was legal on the 550.

Back on the 550 I had to go to the transmitter site to pick up some tools that had been left behind. Took a freeway exit without slowing down to the 60 limit (as signposted). HWP pulls me up.
Cop: Any reason for the speed?
Me: I have to pick up some tools for work.
Cop: Well it wouldn’t do work any good if you killed yourself on the way there would it?
Me: I had my mind on getting the tools, sorry.
Cop: Be more careful OK.

Result: Let off.

On Heathcote Rd NSW on my GSXR 750. I pulled out to get around a line of slow cars, spotted the cunt in the van holding everyone up. Gunned it hard and got past the dopey shit, settled back to 100KMh exactly. A few minutes later I heard sirens behind and looked around (no top fairing or rearview mirrors due to recent crash) HWP up my arse. I thought he wanted to go by so I just slowed and moved left. Nope he was after me.
Me: What did I do?
Cop: Crossed double yellow lines back there, it’s taken me a while to catch up to you. (He had to get around the line of cars and the van cunt too!) Where are your mirrors?
Me: I had an accident, my fairing’s being repainted and you need it to mount the mirrors.
Co: Ok I won’t defect you.

Result: Fine for the double yellows.

On the first day I had the WRX, the missus pisses me off by “obliging” me to take the kids to the shopping centre to buy exercise books or some shit. I pulled up at the lights at the bottom of the road next to an XR8 Coon. Just for shits and giggles, I dragged him off to a convincing win, topping out at the marked speed limit. I’m turning into the Westfields car park and the XR8 follows me in. “Hope they’re not going to make trouble over getting hosed at the lights” I thought. Just to make sure they were tailing me, I headed up to the rooftop parking, sure enough they came too. I parked the car and got out, it’s then I noticed the uniforms. I had just dragged an unmarked HWP. Shiiiiiit! They cruise up, didn’t get out of the car, young blokes. The worst part of it is they gave me this big lecture and the kids were more frightened of that than the earlier rapid acceleration (in fact they thought it was great!) I was deeply apologetic and polite.

Result: Let off.

Last one. Heading up to Anzac Range for a spot of bang stick frivolity, three bang sticks in the car and a couple of hundred rounds of ammo. I’m on the F6 freeway when I get caught up with this cunt who won’t go over 100 and trying to overtake a car/caravan combo going at 99. I’m polite and I don’t glue myself to the overtakers bumper but when he finally pulls over to the left I leaned on the go pedal just to get shot of the dickheads. I’m clear of them and off the gas but going downhill at 125KMh or so. I spot a copper (too late) with a laser pointed at me. He points at me. I’m busted..Fuck! At this moment of realisation the Helensburgh off-ramp appears. No sign of a copper in pursuit, so I slip down the off-ramp, turn right onto the old Prince’s Highway and continue travelling North. After about three kays I started laughing. “What a dopey place to put a speed trap!”

Result: Come and get me coppers!

[Rorz de Puniet]

forgot this one:

"why were you speeding?"
me "because I was in a hurry"
"show me your license"
...
"y'all aren't from around here are ya?"
me "nope, other side of the planet."
"well the posted limit here is 55, not 85!"
"take it easy y'all"
me "thanks officer, by the way, those are some cool sunnies"
"yeah, we like them"

Back highway in central California - doing 30mph over in a rental car. Officer had the coolest standard issue oakley "law enforcement" sunnies ever. Like M Frames, with US flag on side and police insignia.

lols, that's a cool rozzer.

[takai]

ha ha we got the citroen upto 205... bloody pic did not work out though

Heh, that was speed limiter i think, try as i may i can't get it over 180 without a BIG hill, and even then its only 181-182.
Have a POS Golf though, its weak sauce.

[Rona]

Last one. Heading up to Anzac Range for a spot of bang stick frivolity, three bang sticks in the car and a couple of hundred rounds of ammo. I’m on the F6 freeway when I get caught up with this cunt who won’t go over 100 and trying to overtake a car/caravan combo going at 99. I’m polite and I don’t glue myself to the overtakers bumper but when he finally pulls over to the left I leaned on the go pedal just to get shot of the dickheads. I’m clear of them and off the gas but going downhill at 125KMh or so. I spot a copper (too late) with a laser pointed at me. He points at me. I’m busted..Fuck! At this moment of realisation the Helensburgh off-ramp appears. No sign of a copper in pursuit, so I slip down the off-ramp, turn right onto the old Prince’s Highway and continue travelling North. After about three kays I started laughing. “What a dopey place to put a speed trap!”

Result: Come and get me coppers!

Lol similar to this, one night ran a chick in an SS off the lights on my way home from Uni probably got to around 120km/h in the 80 zone. Saw cops up ahead were bailing back into the car ready to give chase/turn sirens on. Was in the right hand lane so bailed and thankfully just coming up to an intersection. Bail into the turn right lane and watch as she gets done. Proceed home the back way constantly watching my mirrors.

I actually got followed home by a paddy wagon after my exams one afternoon, didn't see them as the rear window had fogged up from earlier rain and the demister didn't work. Pull into the driveway to see them doing a u-turn farrrrrkkkk, not sure exactly how long they'd been following but I'd hit a bout 110km/h down hill in a 50 zone. Copped a massive lecture from the young female officer while the Sargeant appeared to not give a fuck. Got let off as they had no evidence other then their word and was too much effort to take me to court. Worst thing was everyone was home and we live in a small cul de sac so the whole world new I'd been a retard.

[dahashrat]

I make it a rule when I get pulled over, get out of the car, meet copper at his car

Don't cops hate it when people do this? Not to mention it probably makes it look like you've got something to hide in the car?

[nastysven]

I do it every time. Just make sure you get on the footpath quick smart!

[Tripper]

Last one. Heading up to Anzac Range for a spot of bang stick frivolity, three bang sticks in the car and a couple of hundred rounds of ammo. I’m on the F6 freeway when I get caught up with this cunt who won’t go over 100 and trying to overtake a car/caravan combo going at 99. I’m polite and I don’t glue myself to the overtakers bumper but when he finally pulls over to the left I leaned on the go pedal just to get shot of the dickheads. I’m clear of them and off the gas but going downhill at 125KMh or so. I spot a copper (too late) with a laser pointed at me. He points at me. I’m busted..Fuck! At this moment of realisation the Helensburgh off-ramp appears. No sign of a copper in pursuit, so I slip down the off-ramp, turn right onto the old Prince’s Highway and continue travelling North. After about three kays I started laughing. “What a dopey place to put a speed trap!”

Result: Come and get me coppers!

was doing about 160kms thru waterfall heading towards wollongong, cop on the other side of the road pulls out after i go past him and i see him turning around to come get me, so i put the foot down more and get on the old highway and back off to the speed limit. never seen him, i assume he went looking for me on the F6