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    #16
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      #17
      Bahhhh! ^^^^

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        #18
        Awesome. Honda?

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          #19
          I see this sort of shit all the time.

          A lot of it comes out of rather well-known perfomance workshops, too. Cunts just have no pride in their work. I had a car today that had been to two other well-known VAG specialist for various things. I spent more time sorting out their shithouse workmanship than doing what I was meant to do.

          I've got a car here at the moment, an early '00s Golf. Previous shop put an engine in it for some reason. Instead of taking the motor and auto box out, splitting it on the floor, and swapping everything over, they decided to leave the box in the car. In doing so, they've fucked the oil pump on the box by jamming the torque converter back into it, which would've been attached to the new motor. This resulted in the car pissing ATF out all over the road, and fucking the box when it slipped it's cunt out due to no oil. Found heaps of shit wrong with it during the tear-down, like plugged vacuum lines, instead of hooking the cunts up to where they're supposed to be, and rubber coolant hoses routed so that they're hard up against the EGR pipe, and so on.
          Originally posted by brewdles
          In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

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            #20
            I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

            So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is. :knock:

            One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.

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              #21
              It was Uncle, wasn't it.

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                #22
                Laughed a lot

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                  #23


                  http://i.imgur.com/yVkNnc2.jpg
                  http://i.imgur.com/ci3rLha.jpg
                  http://i.imgur.com/jDgmB1e.jpg

                  This was a Commodore steering rack conversion on a 50's Yank barge that I was asked to quote on repairing for a new owner. This thing was registered in NSW and being driven... That big long cunt of a rack is what the previous owner used to replace the orignal centre pivot steering. Hello, and welcome to bump steer! The steering column was cut and shut and rubber mounted into a big end that was tacked to the inspection cover on the floor. The steering shaft was mig welded galvanised water pipe and as can be seen it the photo, it wasn't even properly engaging the spline on the pinion. While I was checking it out, the owner's ~3 year old was sitting inside the car playing with the steering wheel and the whole lot was flexing...
                  Originally posted by Marlin
                  Chickens will slip under water in the cover of darkness like a seal team and FUCK YOU UP.

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                    #24
                    Originally posted by willsy01 View Post
                    It was Uncle, wasn't it.
                    Rofl
                    Sutherland Shires #1 Escort? is that like being the 4th best prostitute in Kazahkstan?

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                      #25
                      had a customer come in with a peugeot 406 complaining the brakes had gone spongy and was difficult to get into gear sometimes. Wanted it looked at. Something major had gone wrong in the rear end and the solid brake line had been moving all over the place, eventually rubbed through just behind the caliper and dumped fluid everywhere. Made a new line, bleed the rear brakes, came around to bleed the fronts and realised the whole front subframe was just about ready to fall out of the car. Im not even joking, forget the engine mounts being completely trashed, the struts, the subframe mounts and pretty much every bush in the front end were completely destroyed. One of the subframe bolts had snapped after the pounding it had copped, while one of the others had worn to a nice taper from the cradle moving around.

                      Tried to drop the car back down on to it's wheels but everything was out of whack. No way in hell I was going to let anyone get into it, so we put a couple of jacks under the rear end and pulled the car backwards until a HUGE bang was heard and the subframe rested back into position. Called the customer for a bit of a chat and a please explain, they knew all about the worn bushes, been like that for at least a couple of years, every time you go over a speed bump the car steers funny for a moment then it usually comes good with some driving. If you though that was completely ridiculous in itself, the brake line had been leaking for weeks and they just kept topping up the brake master every time they went to drive anywhere.

                      If you have ever seen flogged caster bushes in a commodore allow a wheel to move forwards and backwards in a guard, times that by about 10. The front end moved so much it would rub on the inner guard and firewall.
                      Originally posted by Buford T. Justice
                      This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags.

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                        #26
                        Originally posted by Terribleone View Post
                        I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

                        So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is. :knock:

                        One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.
                        that would be the rice boy?
                        Originally posted by BeverlyHillsCop
                        I think u should marry her... slip the ring inside your ass and next time she goes in, she'll come out with a ring on her finger...

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by Terribleone View Post
                          I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

                          So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is. :knock:

                          One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.
                          To be fair they dont make any boost below 4500rpm...did you push it past that?
                          www.vapeboss.com.au - big discounts for PF Cunts, PM me for a code

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                            #28
                            This is quickly becoming one of my favourite threads...

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                              #29
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                                #30
                                same...

                                waiting for Al

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