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    #31
    Originally posted by willsy01 View Post
    It was Uncle, wasn't it.
    :rotflol:


    P.S Cant be me. My car has shit paint. Wanker yes. Good paint no.
    Originally posted by S
    I just want to apologise for some of my shit talking back around page 5.

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      #32
      Originally posted by XFJET View Post
      that would be the rice boy?
      How did you guess?

      This story is just me being a prick. Annoying tightarse regular customer comes in with his 100 series cruiser to have one tyre replaced although all 4 are shagged. He annoys me every time so I fit the new tyre with white lettering facing out instead of in to not match the other 3. A week later has a blowout on the other side, fit new tyre on opposite side with coloured lettering not matching the rear tyre. One by one they were all replaced and not one side had matching white lettering on the tyres. Customer tried to rotate them on his own so each side had the same colour but they were directionals. HAHAHA. Fuck you.

      /evilgenius

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        #33
        Originally posted by Terribleone View Post
        How did you guess?

        This story is just me being a prick. Annoying tightarse regular customer comes in with his 100 series cruiser to have one tyre replaced although all 4 are shagged. He annoys me every time so I fit the new tyre with white lettering facing out instead of in to not match the other 3. A week later has a blowout on the other side, fit new tyre on opposite side with coloured lettering not matching the rear tyre. One by one they were all replaced and not one side had matching white lettering on the tyres. Customer tried to rotate them on his own so each side had the same colour but they were directionals. HAHAHA. Fuck you.

        /evilgenius
        Wicked. That should go in the "what do you do to be a sea hunt" thread too.
        I survived the patio flooding catastrophe of 2012.

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          #34
          far out I've had a lifetime of these sorts of stories. Used to be an engine reconditioner and general mechanic in Brookvale.

          Woman with a TA22 celica came in complaining of the car pulling and making noises. Turns out the front had gone metal to metal, worn the backing through then had fallen out and the caliper piston had popped out and wedged against the disc. Well, what was left of the piston anyway. Turns out she'd been driving it for weeks like that. Didn't she arc up when we wouldn't let her drive it anywhere.

          Electrician's Holden Scurry (suzuki carry) blowing smoke. smoke smelled like diesel. Yep, diesel in the tank. Gave them a reco motor for their trouble.
          Same scurry came into the panel shop behind our workshop with one side scraped badly. The stupidly large roof racks full of conduit and ladders helped it tip over on a rounabout. They got their quote and pissed off. Next week, came back this time with matching scrapes down the other side. Asked us to remove the roof racks.

          hippopotamus driving a TC cortina 250 complaining it was slow and noisy. Opened the bonnet and the six cylinder motor was sitting in there on an angle. Closer inspection, number 2, and 4 had thrown rods, shattering the block, camshaft and everything including a large part of the block floating in the air still connected to the engine mount. Hippopotamus commissions a reco engine. Was never seen again. After 3 months the car got a sign on it and was parked out the front as a mobile billboard until the cops took the plates off it. We used to skid the shit out of it every morning and afternoon.

          I cut the car up and fed it into the contractor's garbage truck. The engine got sold to Brett Middleton for his Transit van tow pig.

          Skank came in with a 180B and a fuel gauge not working.
          Opened the back doors to get the back seat out to get to the access panel. Used tampons, syringes, needles, used condoms, and we shut the door again and told her to fuck off.

          Traveling hookers came in with a hiace camper and a blown engine, but no money. Offered to do everyone in the workshop for free in exchange for a motor. Boss sent them packing. When everyone else found out they missed out (and they would of too lol) there was a near riot haha.

          Brother of one of the panel beaters and one of his scummy mates broke into the workshop one night and stole all our tools. Few weeks later boss got a tip off, and three of us went and visited the guy in Dee Why. Found some of my tools and took them back. Took all of his for good measure. Fuck him. Some months after that had to appear in court as he got done for that job and a number of others.

          Will add more as I remember them.
          Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons


          Originally posted by seedyrom
          my neighbours called the cops...... not because of the sound of me working in the garage was too loud, but because i taped a cardboard box to my back, covered my self in vaseline and pretended i was a snail on their lawn

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            #35
            Self explanatory..
            Mobile Suzuki Specialist : www.facebook.com/suzukimechanic . Please like/share my page.

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              #36
              Had one roll in one day, commodore with big dollar 4 link and rear clip done by a major shop. As above, brake lines run through the springs, the wheels they had to build the lot around hit on both the inside and outside guards, the diff wasnt centred under the car (both side to side and front to back), spring heights were not set, coilover adjustments all over the place, and everything was finger tight. 5 figures well spent there.

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                #37
                Originally posted by Faux Forg View Post
                This was a Commodore steering rack conversion on a 50's Yank barge.....


                Fucking lol

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                  #38
                  Had a swift come in last year 323kms on the odometer..


                  "Professional" company had installed a hitch n go setup to it to tow it behind a motorhome.


                  The cable that comes through the firewall and attaches to the brake pedal they had about 4 attempts to get it in the right place . One of those 4 attempts went badly.

                  Mobile Suzuki Specialist : www.facebook.com/suzukimechanic . Please like/share my page.

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                    #39
                    Fuck that's a stupid idea.

                    Just get a small car trailer for fuck's sake.
                    Originally posted by brewdles
                    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by Terribleone View Post
                      I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

                      So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is. :knock:

                      One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.
                      holy lol
                      though to be fair some people just call anything with impact bumpers a 930.. they think it's the series (like 964, 993 etc)
                      Originally posted by Walt Kowalski
                      Memes are only detectable by NSA.

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                        #41
                        This thread is a classic.

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                          #42
                          When I was an apprentice at a Mazda dealer we had a 121 Metro come in for a service. The senior Mazda tech went to get the car then came back and threw the keys to me, along with a plastic seat cover which we rarely used. Outside of the car was grubby, inside was a health hazard. My plan of driving it into the workshop hanging my head out the window hit a snag when I found the window winders had been removed! Didn't think I could hold my breath that long. Inside was full of shit, seriously. We found feces on the back seat. Owner claimed to have allergies. We told her next time the car came in that filthy we will get it cleaned at her expense. She arced up at that.
                          Another good one was a GE 626 V6 sedan owned by a lawyer. Came in for a service and we noted it needed brakes and tyres badly, brakes worn just about to backing plates and tyres were showing belts. Customer refused claiming we were ripping her off. We had release the car back to her but not after we made her sign a declaration stating her car was unsafe to drive, and stamped unsafe on every piece of paperwork we could. We may have also called ACT Police, it was mentioned.
                          Then there was the L300 that came in barely running for it's 100,000km service. Quick check of the service book showed no history, asked the owner and he said he never was told it needed to be serviced! Poor van had done 100,000km in 12 months without being back to a dealer once. Apparently he'd only topped up the oil a couple of times. New engine under warranty, against our advice but Mitsubishi paid up.
                          Weird one was a local Comms company Sprinter that needed a new key. The only way to code the key was to have it plugged into the Mercedes computer at the dealership and in turn have that connected to Mercedes in Germany for the code to allow access to the vehicle security system, in real time. Complete pain in the arse. Once we FINALLY got it sorted, after bricking the bloody ECU and needing it unlocked by Germany, we then get a phone call from Mercedes Lease Australia to secure the vehicle in the workshop and the owner was in default!
                          At least the armored E class was, a bit, easier to deal with. Lucky for us our new mechanic had an HR license so he could legally drive it, GVM was just on 4.5 tonne. We had to send it to Bob Jane as they were one of 2 workshops in Fyshwick with a hoist rated enough to support the weight at the time, the other being DASfleet. The Merc broke the hoist.
                          I can't forget the Lotus Elise that came in for the suspension upgrade, under warranty mind you. Owner insisted on the interior being completely covered, only fully licensed drivers to drive it under his supervision, no boot allowed, and he refused to leave the vehicle while the work was being done. Sort of soured my experience of driving it, albeit a short distance.

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                            #43
                            Not a mechanic story but many years ago I was on foot in Chatswood heading to the railway station and this chick pulled up at the lights in an Escort RS2000. I had owned one at one stage so it caught my eye. As she rolled to a halt at the lights, the front wheel seemed to push backwards in the guard. I thought I imagined it so I kept an eye on it as she rolled forward and stopped again. Yep, the front wheel pivoted backwards a long way. I figured the torsion bar and the lower control arm on that side must have been completely disconnected for that to happen, no bush, no washers, no nut and no split pin. It must've felt really weird to drive, but heh, it was a chick....

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                              #44
                              This is awesome ; http://m.liveleak.com/view?i=b1f_1422764008

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                                #45
                                ...

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